I realized recently that I am actually extremely lucky.
Not lucky like always magically picking the winning lottery numbers or finding $20 bills on the street (although I do find that I have a special talent for always winning the exact amount I paid for a scratch ticket and I have never watched the Red Sox lose inside Fenway Park.....)
Maybe the word I'm actually looking for is "fortunate"? I thing some people would call it "blessed," but honestly I don't know how I feel about that. "Blessed" implies something with much more gravity than what I believe this is. Not that I don't feel I am blessed in other people's categorization of the word. I just don't believe there is any grand force at work here, its just life as it has been laid out before me. So I guess, for now at least, I'm just lucky.
A littel background might be helpful.
I do not by any means beleive you can have any real and meaningful success in life in the absense of hard work.. I study hard, I work hard, I am certainly not without disappointment or heartbreak. Sometimes shit happens, and theres no way around that. But at the same time, things seem to have a way of working themselves out in the end. I go to one of the best universities in the world, I play Division I Ivy League Field Hockey, I have a high GPA and some of the best friends you could ask for, my family is large, happy, and healthy (for the most part), I have a kick-ass job at a great company and make (pretty good) money, I have a boyfriend that loves me, and I am young, healthy, and surrounded by people who actually, truly, and genuinely care about me.
These are by no means new phenomenon in my life, but frankly I've been totally naive to my luck and seemingly undeniable happiness. I haven't taken the time to appreciate it. Maybe it took my boyfriend (who is downright the most genuine, hard-working, no-shit-taking people I have met in my life....and okay maybe I struggle sometimes with the no-shit-taking part, but that's probably because I give a lot of shit. But hey, I love him for it.) constantly pointing it out to me.....like "Wow, you really are lucky aren't you," or "Jeeze, do you get everything you want?" His tone is always sweet-as-sugar and teasing in nature, but honestly I was a little taken aback that I had never really realized what seems so blindingly obvious to him.
So what?
The point of this blog is not to throw all of this in other people's faces. Quite the opposite, really. The point is to throw it in mine. I am lucky. I am happy. Certainly by any definition of the word I can find. So why am I so blind to it? I don't want people to think I am totally unappreciative, though. If anything, I would rate myself as extremely outwardly happy. I rarely frown, and I am bubbly and never stop moving. I certainly appreciate what I have and help out as often as I can. I use exclamation points in my work emails, and say thank you probably to the point of being obnoxious. But deep down, I want to be more content. Not that I want to give up on my dreams, I just want to rid myself of the nagging feeling of not being good enough, having enough, and worry in general. On this blog I will post things that make me happy, in the hopes that I will be not only more appreciative, but also more aware. Luck, after all, can't last forever. I love my life, and its time I took hold of that and did something useful with it. Hopefully it might bring a little enjoyment to others as well. So here we go....
Not lucky like always magically picking the winning lottery numbers or finding $20 bills on the street (although I do find that I have a special talent for always winning the exact amount I paid for a scratch ticket and I have never watched the Red Sox lose inside Fenway Park.....)
Maybe the word I'm actually looking for is "fortunate"? I thing some people would call it "blessed," but honestly I don't know how I feel about that. "Blessed" implies something with much more gravity than what I believe this is. Not that I don't feel I am blessed in other people's categorization of the word. I just don't believe there is any grand force at work here, its just life as it has been laid out before me. So I guess, for now at least, I'm just lucky.
A littel background might be helpful.
I do not by any means beleive you can have any real and meaningful success in life in the absense of hard work.. I study hard, I work hard, I am certainly not without disappointment or heartbreak. Sometimes shit happens, and theres no way around that. But at the same time, things seem to have a way of working themselves out in the end. I go to one of the best universities in the world, I play Division I Ivy League Field Hockey, I have a high GPA and some of the best friends you could ask for, my family is large, happy, and healthy (for the most part), I have a kick-ass job at a great company and make (pretty good) money, I have a boyfriend that loves me, and I am young, healthy, and surrounded by people who actually, truly, and genuinely care about me.
These are by no means new phenomenon in my life, but frankly I've been totally naive to my luck and seemingly undeniable happiness. I haven't taken the time to appreciate it. Maybe it took my boyfriend (who is downright the most genuine, hard-working, no-shit-taking people I have met in my life....and okay maybe I struggle sometimes with the no-shit-taking part, but that's probably because I give a lot of shit. But hey, I love him for it.) constantly pointing it out to me.....like "Wow, you really are lucky aren't you," or "Jeeze, do you get everything you want?" His tone is always sweet-as-sugar and teasing in nature, but honestly I was a little taken aback that I had never really realized what seems so blindingly obvious to him.
So what?
The point of this blog is not to throw all of this in other people's faces. Quite the opposite, really. The point is to throw it in mine. I am lucky. I am happy. Certainly by any definition of the word I can find. So why am I so blind to it? I don't want people to think I am totally unappreciative, though. If anything, I would rate myself as extremely outwardly happy. I rarely frown, and I am bubbly and never stop moving. I certainly appreciate what I have and help out as often as I can. I use exclamation points in my work emails, and say thank you probably to the point of being obnoxious. But deep down, I want to be more content. Not that I want to give up on my dreams, I just want to rid myself of the nagging feeling of not being good enough, having enough, and worry in general. On this blog I will post things that make me happy, in the hopes that I will be not only more appreciative, but also more aware. Luck, after all, can't last forever. I love my life, and its time I took hold of that and did something useful with it. Hopefully it might bring a little enjoyment to others as well. So here we go....